The Fear of Being Close

S e x is where we come closest to the truth of ourselves, body to body, breath to breath, soul brushing against soul. It holds the possibility of being the most sacred of meetings, yet so often it becomes the place where sadly, we hide.

We follow familiar rhythms, chasing release, in our heads, playing out roles we’ve inherited worrying about other, or shut down in our body But s e x with presence, true, trembling, unguarded presence, is something else entirely. And perhaps it’s no mistake.

We live in a culture that fears our wholeness.

A society that does not want us to know the power that rises when s e x uality is free, when intimacy is alive, when two people meet in the full blaze of their humanity. Because in that space, there is no c o n t r o l. There is only wildness, creativity, liberation. And people who know that kind of freedom cannot be contained.

I am of service to this.

We were taught distance. We were given shame. We were told to close our eyes, to not touch ourselves, to move fast, to perform instead of feel. We forgot that s e x could be prayer, that touch could be medicine, that being deeply connected our eros could be our very own unique experience - to god.

And still, the longing hums beneath it all. The longing to belong. To be met in a place where the ache dissolves, where the questions fall away, where you are received fully and nothing in you is turned aside. In that moment of surrender, when everything lets go and you fall into real intimacy, I call it cosmic intimacy, or cosmic s e x. It is the moment belonging is unquestionable, where you are not outside of life, but inside it, woven with another.

So I ask you,

What stops you from holding their gaze until you feel yourself unravel?

What stops you from letting your body speak its strange, unpolished language?

What stops you from being messy, tender, fierce, raw?

What stops you from bringing your untamed self to meet another untamed self?

What stops you from accessing your power, your pleasure, your life force?

Because the way we meet in s e x is the way we meet the world.

I see them as one in the same.

Do we rush, clinging to the familiar?

Do we hide from what we truly want, afraid of how much it might change us?

Do we consider the other, or only reach for what feeds us?

Do we run for the finish line, missing the landscapes, the subtleties, the journey along the way? Do we keep our walls high, even when we’re pressed so close?

Do we fear the intimacy of being touched all the way through, with nothing left to hide?

Can you receive it? that love, that belonging, that intimacy that asks for all of you?

Or do your beliefs stop you, the stories you’ve been told about worthiness, about shame, about what you’re allowed to feel?

Every time we choose to really come together, to meet fully, we are changing the currents of disconnection. not only within ourselves, but in our world.

So tell me, what’s stopping you?

With love,

Narla.