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There's something I've noticed. The clients finding their way into my therapy room are already really self-aware. Already doing the work. They arrive not because something is wrong with them, but because something in them is awake enough to want more. More depth, more honesty, more aliveness in how they love and how they live. They felt a call, and I love that. Here's what's been showing up in my therapy room lately. For the couples. Couples who love each other but feel a dis

Low maintenance is often just well behaved self abandonment. When someone says they are low maintenance, it can sound attractive. Easy. Relaxed. No drama. But in the therapy room I often see something else sitting underneath that phrase. Sometimes “low maintenance” actually meansI don’t express my needs. I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to upset anyone. I don’t want to risk rejection. So the nervous system learns to make itself smaller. Needs go quiet. Desires get p

Another client moving through Relating, Me Before We. Right now we are exploring the different states we move through in relationship. The moments when we are open. The moments when we are reaching for connection. The moments when we are at capacity. And the moments when we feel the need to hide and protect. So many people think conflict is about the topic. But often it is actually about the state we are in, the undercurrents, and the unspoken needs of the vulnerable parts wi

When couples explore open relating, what usually gets activated are not logistics. It is belief. Deeply installed stories about love, worth, safety, and security. Here are some of the most common ones I see, and the reframes that begin to shift them. “Love means being chosen above all others.” Many of us were taught that exclusivity equals value. But being chosen does not require limiting someone’s humanity.Devotion is shown through integrity, not restriction.You can be deep

In relationship work, especially in couples therapy and ethical non monogamy, there is immense power in language. Words like boundary, agreement, rule and safety shape how we relate. They shape how we love. They shape how we protect ourselves. When we understand what these words truly mean, and align our behaviour to that meaning, relationships become clearer, steadier and more honest. Clarity changes everything. My definition of a boundary A boundary is something I take resp

What is couples therapy? Couples therapy is a structured space where partners work on communication, emotional connection, conflict repair and relational patterns. It focuses on understanding attachment dynamics, nervous system responses and unmet needs that sit underneath recurring tension. I support couples to build clearer agreements, strengthen emotional safety and develop communication skills that create long term stability. Do you work with ethical non monogamy and poly

There is often an assumption that ethical non monogamy and monogamous relationships require completely different skill sets. What I see in practice is something slightly different. Open relating magnifies your relational experience. It brings attachment patterns, jealousy, insecurity, desire, comparison and fear straight to the surface. It asks you to actively redefine what safety means, what commitment means, and what your relational foundations truly are. When you open a re

Couples therapy is the heart of my work. As a somatic and relational therapist offering couples therapy in Byron Bay, Lismore, Sydney and online across the world. I have chosen to focus deeply on working with the relationship when it's in the same room/zoom call, not just the individuals within it. When both partners are present, something powerful happens. We are not speaking about each other from a distance.We are witnessing the relationship live. The shifts in tone.The mom

Did you notice the moment you almost said something and didn’t? Did you notice the pause the calculation the decision to stay quiet because it felt safer than being honest? Did you notice when you softened your needs so it wouldn’t feel like too much? Did you notice when you laughed it off even though your body contracted? Did you notice how often you told yourself it’s not that big of a deal while something in you kept shrinking? Did you notice when you stopped bringing thin

The biggest shift in open relating is not logical, and it’s not logistical either. It’s not agreements. It’s not even communication. It's the undercurrents. It’s a change in our safety programming. It’s the nervous system. Within the dominant relating construct of monogamy, safety is organised around one core idea: my partner choosing someone else equals threat, right? The mind can understand a new relational framework fairly quickly. The nervous system takes time. This is wh

I keep noticing a pattern. And if you know me at all, you know I love patterns. Patterns. Cycles. Root causes. Shadow. Clarity. Change. So many of my clients are finding me because they are already in open relating, consciously non monogamous, or exploring something beyond the default script. Often they arrive here because the support they have elsewhere does not fully meet this terrain. They are not finding me at the beginning. They are finding me after hurt has landed. Afte

There is a reason I prefer to work with couples (when people are in relationship). Because relationship does not live in insight alone. It lives in bodies. In breath, tone, pacing, distance, eye contact, in the connection. In what happens to the nervous system when the person you love most is close, and when they are not. In the relating. When two people come into a session with me, something immediate becomes present. Not a story about the relationship, but the relationship

The festive season is thick with expectation and social conditioning. It takes something most of us were never taught how to give. Not effort. Not perfection. Not being agreeable or easy. Not being entertaining. It takes capacity. The festive season is testing for most, feared by many, and easeful for few. But, there is a deep undercurrent of wishing its were as beautiful as our fantasy hopes it to be. Truth is, it is so easy to slip back into old patterns. To sit at the tabl

The heart is a complex system of connection and longing. In relating, I prioritise my heart’s desire above all else. It leads my decision making, even when my mind and body have another plan. I can map a path, feel settled in it, and then something opens, something arrives, something calls and pulls on my heart, and my heart just wants to pour in that direction. I don’t rush any of it. I listen, I hold, I observe, I arrange, and I tend to all before I let it pour. But I deepl

Real love is built quietly. Not in grand gestures, but in the smallest, most ordinary moments, the ones that can so easily go unnoticed. Every relationship has these micro-moments of choice. Tiny openings between two people. Moments where one heart reaches, even slightly, with a sigh, a glance, a story, a question, a hand reaching.. And in that moment, the other person has a choice: to turn toward, or to turn away. These moments might not look like much, but they are everythi

We tend to talk about non-monogamy as if it’s a label, a box you step into or out of.But maybe it’s more of a flowing question than an identity. Most people, at some point, feel a flicker of connection or curiosity beyond their relationship.A glance that lingers, an emotional pull, a fantasy that surprises them.It doesn’t always lead anywhere, but it reveals something about being human, our endless dance between safety and freedom. We long to belong. We also long to explore.

When I’m in someone’s company, I pay attention. Not just to their words, but to what happens in my body. My body becomes the map. It...

So many of us move through relationships caught in invisible patterns, loops that keep us feeling powerless, unseen, or misunderstood....

S e x is where we come closest to the truth of ourselves, body to body, breath to breath, soul brushing against soul. It holds the...

Disconnection is inevitable. It happens in every relationship. What matters most isn’t that it happens, but how we choose to meet it....