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The biggest shift in open relating is not logical, and it’s not logistical either. It’s not agreements. It’s not even communication. It's the undercurrents. It’s a change in our safety programming. It’s the nervous system. Within the dominant relating construct of monogamy, safety is organised around one core idea: my partner choosing someone else equals threat, right? The mind can understand a new relational framework fairly quickly. The nervous system takes time. This is wh

I keep noticing a pattern. And if you know me at all, you know I love patterns. Patterns. Cycles. Root causes. Shadow. Clarity. Change. So many of my clients are finding me because they are already in open relating, consciously non monogamous, or exploring something beyond the default script. Often they arrive here because the support they have elsewhere does not fully meet this terrain. They are not finding me at the beginning. They are finding me after hurt has landed. Afte

There is a reason I prefer to work with couples (when people are in relationship). Because relationship does not live in insight alone. It lives in bodies. In breath, tone, pacing, distance, eye contact, in the connection. In what happens to the nervous system when the person you love most is close, and when they are not. In the relating. When two people come into a session with me, something immediate becomes present. Not a story about the relationship, but the relationship

The festive season is thick with expectation and social conditioning. It takes something most of us were never taught how to give. Not effort. Not perfection. Not being agreeable or easy. Not being entertaining. It takes capacity. The festive season is testing for most, feared by many, and easeful for few. But, there is a deep undercurrent of wishing its were as beautiful as our fantasy hopes it to be. Truth is, it is so easy to slip back into old patterns. To sit at the tabl

The heart is a complex system of connection and longing. In relating, I prioritise my heart’s desire above all else. It leads my decision making, even when my mind and body have another plan. I can map a path, feel settled in it, and then something opens, something arrives, something calls and pulls on my heart, and my heart just wants to pour in that direction. I don’t rush any of it. I listen, I hold, I observe, I arrange, and I tend to all before I let it pour. But I deepl

Real love is built quietly. Not in grand gestures, but in the smallest, most ordinary moments, the ones that can so easily go unnoticed. Every relationship has these micro-moments of choice. Tiny openings between two people. Moments where one heart reaches, even slightly, with a sigh, a glance, a story, a question, a hand reaching.. And in that moment, the other person has a choice: to turn toward, or to turn away. These moments might not look like much, but they are everythi

We tend to talk about non-monogamy as if it’s a label, a box you step into or out of.But maybe it’s more of a flowing question than an identity. Most people, at some point, feel a flicker of connection or curiosity beyond their relationship.A glance that lingers, an emotional pull, a fantasy that surprises them.It doesn’t always lead anywhere, but it reveals something about being human, our endless dance between safety and freedom. We long to belong. We also long to explore.

When I’m in someone’s company, I pay attention. Not just to their words, but to what happens in my body. My body becomes the map. It...

So many of us move through relationships caught in invisible patterns, loops that keep us feeling powerless, unseen, or misunderstood....

S e x is where we come closest to the truth of ourselves, body to body, breath to breath, soul brushing against soul. It holds the...

Disconnection is inevitable. It happens in every relationship. What matters most isn’t that it happens, but how we choose to meet it....

It’s a spectrum, always moving, always shifting, and each connection seems to draw out a different polarity of me. For most of my life,...

We’re told so many stories about how love should look. That commitment means exclusivity. That wanting more than one connection is...

If you accidentally stepped on someone’s foot, you’d probably say, “I’m sorry.” It’s an unintentional act that caused harm, and...

We’re not really taught how to do this - how to relate, communicate, or stay connected through the messy parts. Most of us are figuring...

Books I Return To: These are the books that have shaped me - personally, professionally, and relationally. They’ve offered language...