I am of Service to the Relationship

There is a reason I prefer to work with couples (when people are in relationship).

Because relationship does not live in insight alone.

It lives in bodies.

In breath, tone, pacing, distance, eye contact, in the connection.

In what happens to the nervous system when the person you love most is close, and when they are not.

In the relating.

When two people come into a session with me, something immediate becomes present.

Not a story about the relationship, but the relationship itself.

Two nervous systems orienting, bracing, softening, scanning for safety, closeness, distance.

Old protective patterns rise before a word is even spoken.

This is the terrain we work with.

Witnessing and working with the bond itself.

Distress in relationship is not about poor communication or incompatible personalities.

It is about threatened connection, the bond.

About moments where reaching did not land.

Where closeness felt unsafe.

Where protection became more reliable than vulnerability.

I do not believe you can truly explore this terrain one on one.

When both partners are present, the attachment system is alive.

The body responds honestly.

The heart speeds up.

The impulse to defend, withdraw, pursue, or placate emerges in real time.

And instead of judging or dissecting those moments,

we slow right down and get curious.

We listen. We learn.

What are you protecting right now?

What is underneath that?

What are you feeling right now?

What are you afraid would happen if you softened?

What do you need your partner to see or know right now?

As the work unfolds, something subtle begins to happen.

Nervous systems start to settle, not because the discomfort disappears, but because it is held together.

In the room.

In the relationship.

The room becomes a place where scared parts can be named without fear.

Where longing can be spoken without being dismissed.

Where hurt can be touched without escalating into attack or shutdown.

This is how bonds are repaired.

Slowly and together, step by step, side by side.

By creating new emotional moments where one person risks showing the softer truth beneath the protection, and the other stays present enough to receive it.

And witnessing this always gives me goosebumps.

In those moments, the body learns something new.

I can reach and you will turn toward me.

I can show you my fear and I will not be abandoned.

We can touch this pain without losing each other.

These experiences weave a different kind of bond.

Not perfect.

Not conflict free.

But resilient.

This is why I prioritise couples being in the room together.

Because connection is not repaired through explanation.

It is repaired through slow, felt experience.

Two people.

Two nervous systems.

Exploring the landscape of their relationship with care, honesty, and support.

Learning how to find one another again in the places they once got lost.

Love does not heal in theory.

It heals in contact.

I am of service to the relationship.

To love.

With love, Narla.